Me and mine

OK, I’ll give you my reasons for writing this post upfront-I am bored, feeling self-centered, annoyed,tired and cranky….

This entire post is about me and does not pretend to be anything else…Those who already know me or those who feel their intelligence is being insulted with this post- skip it

I:

• read magazines from the back to the front
• want to be a designer and have a small shop
• get miffed very very easily
• hoard boxes, bags, footwear, stationary and beads
• take tons of photos but never show em to anyone
• am paranoid about punctuation
• lick the cream first and then eat the biscuit
• want to try metal working and silversmithing
• hate people who say they’ll call and don’t
• hate myself for waiting for people to call when they say they will…
• don’t eat bananas, jack fruit, coconut, meat and fish and still call myself a mallu
• hate people who say I have a Mallu accent- some jerks i know think that the accent i put on to fool around IS my Real accent
• write tons of drafts, poems and movie reviews and then don’t publish them cos i am afraid no one will read em.
• love getting gifts – am so shameless that I even ask for them
• often dream that I am jumping off my house’s roof for fun and I keep falling
• love reading craft tutorials

My:

• favorite snack is milk powder/marie biscuit and pickle/ tamarind and salt and chocolate
• idea of “dressing up” is wearing matching earrings
• latest addiction is looking up and buying jewelry supplies from Etsy
• My favorite color is black and though I act like I dint like it – I do like pink and white
• favorite book is The Catcher in the Rye
• pet paranoia is that I am dying I am a hypochodriac – yes after I acted in it

That’s it for now – guess I’ve bored everyone enough for today.

What do lady constables do?

If you live in Chennai and you commute anywhere in the morning – you can see them-No, not IT slaves struggling to make it to their out-station offices in time. Lady Constables! That’s who you get to see…

I’ve been meaning to write this for a long time-with all the righteousness that befits a tax-payer and Indian citizen…What Do Lady Constables do? Why are they there-standing, sitting on the road side in the mornings?

I thought and thought of what they are supposed to do, probably they could:

• Watch out and protect women against eve teasing in bus stops, buses and local trains.
• Perform security checks in Shopping Malls and shopping areas-not just the big ones like Spencer’s…
• Assist the visually challenged and the differently abled to perform day-to-day tasks like crossing the road or getting directions.
• Bring to light cases of domestic violence against women and abuse of children.
• Prevent chain snatching and other thefts from women commuters.

All this is wishful thinking I guess- as far as I have seen they just:

• Loiter. They really just stand around with expressions of absolute boredom.
• Chat on their mobiles under trees and in gangs- they actually have the giggly schoolgirl kind of behavior happening there…
• Check out the clothes and accessories of the women walking by and commenting on them- I half expect them to do the whole bitchy-commenting-about-women who aren’t constably-cool enough!
• Flirt and simper around male policemen and inspectors admiring their bikes and mobile phones.

Is this what they’re really supposed to do? Our humble tax money is going into their salaries and just what are they doing by being in the force? Is this supposed to convince other women about gender equality and opportunities for women?

Am I the only one ranting? Nope. Ram wonders about the actual role of women constables in this post here.

The Small Font Story

Hi Aunty,

well, where was I? first lemme give u the background details…
I work on 3 user guides D, I and P( the only fool to work on 3… I learnt recently that others have only 2 guides).

I was supposed to send the I User guide 1st draft on 28 July and i couldn’t cos formatting and numbering got screwed so i sent it on 29 th morning…on 5 August the reviewer R behaved like a jack ass and said he cant review it because the doc was terrible..(i was following the template the others were following, only prob the numbering was screwed but u know how MS WORD is )
So i humbly formatted it again and uploaded the doc on FTP on 6 Aug as the file was 5 MB..i was NOT ALLOWED to mail the client directly so I mailed X, my adversaire and haï personne (pardon my French), bout the upload on 6 Aug and fortunately i kept the mail in my Sent Items…I love Outlook Express…

Yesterday, the Client C mailed X, a stinker bout how my guides are behind schedule…then X asks me to mail her bout this and defend myself…so i mailed her with the dates when i started work on each guide and when i finished the guide, the proposed date and whether i have slipped or not…she mails it to C back…then he sends another major stinker, an excerpt of which X so kindly forwarded to me and asked me to respond again….the stinker is:

[R] I am not sure the dates on the attached document are accurate. According to my notes for I User Guide, Draft 1 was sent to the reviewer R on 30/8 which was subsequently returned as it was deemed unacceptable. The 1^st draft was subsequently delivered on Aug 12, not Aug 6, and review completed on Aug 19. It is true that R, has been late in his review but we should not assume that we are behind because of him. Deepfriedbheja, the writer, has been given a lot more time for her deliverables than the other writers have for the three guides that she has been responsible for, and the feedback that I have consistently received is that the content of the deliverables are not a reflection of the amount of time spent on it, especially when compared to the other writers.

WOWIE!!!!So i went thru all the mails and found that I had mailed it on the 6 th…but this female has sent it for review only on 12 Aug….can u believe that ??a whole 6 days later!!!! No wonder C s screwing me…she s also been bitchin bout me to everyone there…so ultimately everyone in the Client’s Company hates me and i am getting terrible feedback and all…sigh..when will this end man??
I mailed her yesterday with my defense line and also attached my mails to her on 6 Aug….no word from her after that…major silence…bah!! but me scared that everyone will take her word for it…u know how X protects her backside no matter how wrong she is…

By the way, the R guy was really rude to me when X was in Bangkok….now that she ain’t there…he s become really nice and decent….he s sent 2 of my guides after the second draft for the final review to the manager directly without making me work on a 3rd draft…god bless him….i really suspect that X was bitching bout me and has given a bad impression of me to those guys…she would have put all the blame for her screw ups onto my head and I dint even know why ppl are mean to me…

Lemme know what you think…..take care…and I am really looking forward to seeing u give it to em nicely….i really want u to give em a BIG piece of your mind till they squirm in their seats… please indulge me Aunty…my name is mud now

Thanks and regards,
Deep fried bheja.

P.S: this is my mail(sent in Small Fonts) to a dear friend I call Aunty ( for no reason), explaining the aftermath of my Bangkok trip…and what S@#T I take everyday…

Is it only me or do others face situations like this when a 41 yr old X acts like she s 3 and gets away with it too?

NOTE:Any resemblance to any person, non living being or alien in this story is purely coincidental…you can think this is fictional or non-fictional…I don’t give a s@#t!